“For a brief moment, I watched those sad people on the screen and I actually wondered, I remember this, what it would be like to be holding up a frame and be in a situation like that,” Bill Mitchell, president of the Kristin Mitchell Foundation, said.  “And have someone you love so much taken away from you.”

Mitchell began telling his audience at Grace Hall about a personal story of domestic violence on Tuesday, Oct. 4.  Mitchell is the father of Kristin, for whom the Kristin Mitchell Foundation was founded in honor of.  Kristin lost her life to an abusive boyfriend in 2005.

However, it was about a year prior to when Mitchell’s family faced tragedy that he was asked to narrate for a domestic violence video.

“In the video, you watched different families and each family was holding up a photograph or a framed picture of a loved one who had been killed in a domestic violence situation,” Mitchell gestured as if holding up a photo as he stood before the audience.

Mitchell said that Kristin, 21, had just graduated from Saint Joseph’s University and already had specific plans to begin her career.  Conveying how the Mitchell’s tragic loss was a moment that stays with a family forever, Mitchell counted the time down to the hours since Kristin was killed.

The image of a bright future came to an end for her and her family when domestic violence took Kristin’s life.  Mitchell described getting what he felt was a bizarre call from a police detective, Lieutenant Vicki Shaffer of Howard County, Md.  The leuitenant told him she needed to tell him something in person and had gone to their house but no one was home, Mitchell said.

Mitchell also recalled having a camera on hand in case it was a hoax and maybe he could catch the person.  As the moments passed, Mitchell said that he thought the cops possibly wanted to ask if he saw any activity relating to something big that must have happened on their street.  Maybe he would have information to tell the cops to assist them, Mitchell said.

Kristin had a new apartment in Conshohocken, Pa. after graduation, according to Mitchell.  After Kristin’s murder, the Mitchell family began to find out more about her boyfriend.  Mitchell, in talking about the signs of domestic violence, said that one way was to isolate you from your family and friends.

“That’s what my daughter’s boyfriend was great at,” Mitchell said.  There was emphasis in Mitchell’s voice as he said the word ‘great.’

Mitchell went through a slide presentation as he continued  to talk about Kristin and the relationship she had with her boyfriend.  One text message Kristin sent to her boyfriend read, “You are being ridiculous why cant I do something with my friends,” a clear sign of trouble.  The domestic violence element of being controlled was evident in the tone of Kristin’s text message.

(Picture are Bill and Michele Mitchell)

One slide toward the end of Mitchell’s presentation showed Kristin photographed by her mother; Kristin was holding a cellphone to her ear.  What’s more was the piece of information that Mitchell pointed out to the audience about the photo, taken shortly before his daughter’s death.  Kristin’s boyfriend was on the other end of the phone call, according to Mitchell.

“One murder can kill many people,” Mitchell said, reinforcing the idea that a victim’s family and friends are greatly affected by such a loss.

The audience wholeheartedly agreed that his daughter’s murderer received an all-too short sentencing in jail.  Mitchell said that the boyfriend could be released in 2020, cutting short a 30-year sentence.

Assistant District Attorney of Montgomery County, Wallis Brooks, spoke of the Mitchells in high regard.

“Facing the greatest tragedy a parent can imagine, they were dignified, respectful and dedicated to the memories of their daughter,”  Brooks said.  “It is not surprising to me that after the murder of their daughter, and the ensuing years, that the Mitchells embarked on a crusade to get the word out about the dangers of unhealthy dating relationships.  It is not surprising that the Mitchells formed the Kristin Mitchell Foundation to (pulpit) that effort.”

To learn more about the efforts of Kristin’s father and the Kristin Mitchell Foundation go to Kristin’s Krusade.  Sign up for the organization’s e-news and keep current on activities being held to end domestic violence.

(This article was from The Loquitor, which is Cabrini College’s weekly student-produced campus newspaper. It is a forum for public expression for students, staff, faculty, alumni and many others outside the Cabrini community)

Kristin’s Krusade 5k Run/Walk is Saturday, October 15, 2011.

If it’s anything like our first five 5k run/walks, it’s going to be a beautiful day — just like it should be.

It’s not only a Saturday for the first time ever. It’s also October, which is National Domestic Violence month. And it’s also Saint Joseph’s Alumni Weekend. Come out and join us. We’re expecting to see lots of our old and new friends this year.

Join this great cause whether you’re running or walking.
Sign up on this website, and we’ll see you there!

Maria Kefalas, the director of the Richard Johnson Center for Anti-Violence at Saint Joseph’s University helped to develop a workshop for teens and dating violence. A short video, written and starring high school teens, is called “If You Loved Me.”

The young people, all 10th graders from the Multi-Cultural Academy Charter School, read Kristin’s story and used the Foundation’s materials in putting together a message for younger teens of color. The team of adults involved with the project came from Saint Joseph’s University. The teacher of these high schoolers is from the SJU class of 2004.

Ms. Kefalas says, “We are very proud of the final product and would be honored if the Foundation would post it on your website and use it in your important work.”

You can see the Philadelphia Youth Solutions Project website at www.pysp.org and click on videos and watch “If You Loved Me.”

Or you can go to the vimeo link here:  http://vimeo.com/27721552.

August 24, 2010 ELLICOTT CITY, MARYLAND -

We will pause many times today and remember all of the August 24ths starting in 1983.

The first was absolutely marvelous. Kristin was born at 4:17pm and was absolutely perfect in every way. Just beautiful and so kissable.

Her four grandparents visited that evening and took turns holding her and marveling over her. They couldn’t say enough. And we couldn’t take enough pictures.

The August 24ths that followed were always welcome and fun. The second one included chocolate cake just about everywhere. Kristin was rightfully the center of attention.

A few years later we had a horse brought to our backyard so all of Kristin’s friends could ride. Kristin fell in love with horses early on.

Still later, August 24ths meant we’d be eating crabs in our backyard and enjoying ourselves for hours. Crabs had become a tradition, one that we will be carrying on this evening.

We continue to get wonderful notes from people who remember and miss Kristin. Some notes are sad; some are happy. We appreciate them all. We also have received flowers from friends who love Kristin today as much as they did before. Her following is growing almost daily as more and more people want to know who she is.

At 4:17pm, wherever we are, we will pause and reflect on a life that was cut short because of dating violence, but also a life well lived. And a beautiful person well loved.

The Mitchells

Participants for the 5th Annual Kristin’s Krusade 5K Run/Walk, can sign up here.

The body of Lauren Astley was found July 4 in Framington, Mass. Police arrested her former boyfriend, Nathaniel Fujita, believing he slashed her throat after she broke off their relationship.

Middlesex County District Attorney Gerry Leone tells CBS News the murder was a classic case of teen dating violence. “This case, like so many other paradigms, is about control and about power,” he tells CBS.

James Allen Fox, a professor at Northeastern University in Boston, tells CBS he also sees a depressingly familiar pattern in the still-unfolding drama.

“Unfortunately, far too many males have a view that this is their right to maintain a relationship that’s broken down,” he says. “It’s the old ‘if I can’t have you, no one can.’ It’s the obsession with the relationship, that ‘I can’t go on without you.’ There’s a sense in far too many men that they want to re-establish control.”

VIDEO from TODAY SHOW

Fujita allegedly stabbed Astley, wrapped bungee cords around her throat and left her body in a marsh. He pled not guilty to the murder charges. Astley had been missing for a day before her body was discovered.

Astley and Fujita were graduates of Wayland High School in Framington and had been dating for three years before prosecutors say Astley ended the relationship.

Searching Fujita’s house, police allegedly found blood in the garage and a blood-stained bungee cord. Blood was also reportedly found in the kitchen and the bathroom.

More forensic evidence — including bloody sneakers and other clothing — linking Fujita to the murder was found in a crawlspace in his bedroom.

Just last month, the U.S. Department of Public Health and Human Services and the U.S. Surgeon General included a Violence Prevention Strategy for the first time in their annual National Health Policy Strategy. It came out three days before Astley’s death.

Vladimir Albin Jr., a youth team coordinator for the Boston-based domestic violence advocacy support group Close To Home, tells the ABC News affiliate in Boston that the majority of teenage dating violence goes unreported or under-reported.

Because there are so many different kinds of abuse and because teenagers have less experience in romantic relationships, he says, a victim may not realize a relationship is abusive or abnormal.

“They’re not always aware that what they’re experiencing is teen dating violence,” Albin says.

Few incidents go as far as murder. Nonetheless, the Boston Globe reports an estimated 1 in 3 high school relationships involve some sort of physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

“It’s a common problem, in city, suburbs and rural communities,” Emily Rothman, a domestic violence researcher at the Boston University School of Public Health, tells the Globe. In Massachusetts alone, she adds, where some 1 in 10 teens have experienced physical violence in a relationship.

Many parents are reluctant to talk to teens about how to protect themselves, Rothman tells the paper. “We learned years ago that the right time to start talking to kids is before they’re in a relationship,” she says.

Parents should start teaching about healthy relationships from preschool on — from the moment brothers start pushing each other or nursery school playmates pin a girl down for a kiss, Rothman tells the paper. “Adults need to promote the idea that kids shouldn’t be violent or controlling with anyone, that everyone deserves respect in any kind of relationship,” she says.

Parents also need to make teens aware of warning signs in a relationship, she adds. These extend beyond slaps, pinches, pushes, punches and beatings. “Insults and humiliating put-downs can also be a sign of abuse,” she tells the paper.

Control and jealousy can also rear their ugly heads in the form of constant texting or phone calls to check up on a partner’s whereabouts, or pressure to withdraw from other relationships with friends or loved ones.

“These are emotionally abusive behaviors, but they can be just as damaging and just as restricting,” Rothman tells the Globe.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Jess Mertz, Board Member of the Kristin Mitchell Foundation and Associate Director of the Penn Women’s Center, was interviewed by Loraine Ballard Morrill, Q102 talk show host. You can listen to this insightful interview by clicking the link below.

On the program, Ms. Mertz discussed both sexual assault and sexual violence. The discussion touched upon warning signs of potential danger in a relationship. She also spoke about Kristin Mitchell, the engaging student at Saint Joseph’s University, who was murdered by her boyfriend only three weeks after graduation.

The foundation’s annual fund raiser, the Kristin’s Krusade 5K Run/Walk, will be held Saturday, October 15th at Saint Joseph’s University, in Philadelphia. This event facilitates increased awareness about dating violence especially among young adults.

Jess Mertz said of Ms. Morrill and Q102, “We are so grateful for your support, and we will certainly be in touch about other things happening at the Penn Women’s Center and the Kristin Mitchell Foundation.”

Ms. Mertz’s experience includes creating original curricula and working with large groups to educate about issues such as unhealthy relationships, assertiveness, and sexual assault.

Jess Mertz Q102 Interview

“Luvapalooza” was held February 14, 2011 at UMBC, with healthy relationships and safe dating being major areas of concentration. Funds were used to purchase educational pamphlets and materials from Bacchus and Gamma that had the theme: “Healthy Relationships: Foundations for Respect and Caring.” These materials were distributed along with resource cards that students, faculty and staff could take with them with the contact information of members of UMBC’s Sexual Assault and Relationship Violence Response Team on one side.

The other side was entitled “Does Your Partner?” and contained signs of an unhealthy relationship (e.g. jealousy, possessiveness, constant texting or emailing, etc.) and ways to get help.  These cards were a huge success, with many students telling us they never thought about some of these behaviors as being warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Other educational materials for the Luvapalooza event were entitled “Love Shouldn’t Hurt.” Overall, the event was a huge success with a great turnout of students, faculty and staff.  They office was able to distribute important educational information on healthy relationships and dating violence, as well as on and off campus resources for sexual assault and relationship violence.

The Kristin Mitchell Foundation grant was also used for a poster campaign in the UMBC residence halls with the theme “Healthy Relationships: Foundations of Respect and Caring.” The posters had signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships, as well as important qualities to look for in a partner.  

UMBC was very appreciative to have Bill Mitchell, the president of the Kristin Mitchell Foundation, and Kristin’s father, as guest speaker during our Relationship Violence Prevention Speaker Series. His presentation spoke volumes on UMBC’s campus, and further added to the tremendous work we were able to do with the KMF funds. UMBC’s Sexual Assault and Relationship Violence Response Team resource cards and other educational items were available at the presentation for participants. It was a collaborative effort on all ends, and Mr. Mitchell’s presence and message were very important for our campus.

We salute UMBC for helping us with our mission, and we are happy to help them with their important cause.

The mission of the Kristin Mitchell Foundation is to support educational efforts that raise awareness among young adults about the dangers of unhealthy dating relationships.

Ms. Kiss is currently serving as the Executive Director of Security on Campus, Inc., a non-profit organization dedicated to safe campuses for college and university students. She was instrumental in the development and implementation of curricula for the Safe On Campus Peer Education Program and for the Victim Support Services Module of the Clery Act Training Program. Ms. Kiss also applied her direct service crisis counseling skills to create policies and procedures for SOC’s Victim Advocacy Program among many other accomplishments.

Alison has exhibited great passion in improving campus safety and support for victims on a national level. She has contributed and appeared in major media outlets, including CNN (“Campus Sexual Assault”), USA Today (“Could Text Alerts Have Helped”), Los Angeles Times (“Universities Seeking Campus Safety Advice”), and Cosmopolitan (“Why your Campus Can Be a Danger Zone”). Ms. Kiss recently completed a chapter on college campus safety in the recently published anthology, “Victims of Sexual Assault and Abuse: Resources and Responses for Individuals and Families.”

She has provided services as an expert witness in campus sexual assault civil cases and is affiliated with many professional organizations, including: Rapid Response Expert Network, Violence Against Women Online Resources (VAWNET), Expanded Partners Group, “Vision 21: Transforming Victims Services”, Department of Justice: OVC-sponsored project, and the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators, where she recently co-presented on the topic of prevention and intervention of sexual assault at the National Conference in Philadelphia this March.

Ms. Kiss has worked in education, health education and counseling. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Spanish from The Catholic University of America and a Master of Science in Criminal Justice from Saint Joseph’s University. She resides in the greater Philadelphia area with her husband, Michael, a high school teacher, and their four-year old daughter, Elisa.

The Board of Directors of KMF welcomed Alison to the foundation at the April 2011 Annual Meeting.

It’s all happening on Saturday, October 15, 2011 at Saint Joseph’s University. This will be our 6th annual event, and we couldn’t be more excited! Especially following our 2010 Kristin’s Krusade that broke all previous records.

It’s also SJU’s Alumni Weekend, so we’re sure to have our greatest event ever.

Join Kristin Mitchell’s friends and family at this gathering of those who intend to put a stop to dating violence in our time. This is our greatest vehicle to gain awareness, and we need you to help us.

More details will be added as we have them. Thank you for your participation!